


The Best Part of Waking Up

by Anonymous



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Adoptive sibling incest, Coffee, Crack, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, F/M, Incest, Inspired by Folgers "Home for the Holidays" Commercial, Oral Sex, Parody, Smut, folgerscest au, similes I should be shot for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:54:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29752980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Jasper comes home for the holidays, and Alice is there to greet him.
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7
Collections: Anonymous





	The Best Part of Waking Up

The clock on Jasper’s phone read 5:27 AM by the time the Uber pulled into the driveway. Covered in a light dusting of snow, his childhood home looked like something out of a postcard. Seeing it brought back a flood of memories, and suddenly his chest ached with the overpowering desire to be inside, padding around the cozy kitchen as a pot of Folger’s Classic Roast™ percolated on the counter. If he timed it right, then his adoptive sister, Alice, could wake up to her brother home from Mexico, presents under the tree, and Folger’s in her cup.

He hauled his suitcase from the trunk without waiting for the driver’s help and dragged it up the snowy front walk as fast as he dared, eager to make the vision a reality.

But before he could unlock the door, it swung open.

Alice was standing on the threshold in silk pajamas and a messy ponytail, looking just as she had when she’d hugged him goodbye a year ago. She was biting her lip in her usual Alice way, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet in pure excitement. And here Jasper had imagined himself coming home to a tall, dignified, impossibly sophisticated stranger.

He decided to pretend he had. “I must have the wrong house,” he teased.

Alice laughed, too impatient to continue the joke. “Sister!” she reminded him, pointing at herself for half a heartbeat before springing up into his arms.

“Oh, I missed you _so_ much,” she added, voice muffled as she nestled into his neck. Jasper buried his nose in her hair, inhaling the familiar scent of her coconut shampoo. He had forgotten, or never truly appreciated, just how perfect she felt in his arms.

“I waited up all night for you, you know,” she announced as she led him into the kitchen. It was just as he had imagined it in his plans that morning, complete with Folger’s Classic Roast™ bubbling in a corner. Leave it to Alice to flip the script on his planned surprise and anticipate exactly what _he_ wanted, down to the very second she should open the door to surprise _him_.

“Well, it’s a long way from Monterrey,” he told her by way of excuse, shucking off his coat and abandoning his suitcase in order to lean over the pot of Folger’s Classic Roast™.

“Mmm, _real_ coffee,” he sighed. At last. He savored the aroma as he poured himself a cup. He was so sick of the disgusting, low-quality swill they grew in Central America, which as everyone knows is where the worst coffee in the world comes from. Only Folger’s Classic Roast™ could fill the void in his chest now. Folger’s…and one other thing.

That reminded him. “I brought you something from far away,” he told Alice.

“Really?” she giggled, hopping up to sit on the edge of the huge kitchen island as he unzipped his suitcase and slipped the carefully stowed, colorfully wrapped gift out.

Alice stared at the proffered gift, taken completely by surprise for once. It was wrapped in colorful paper, topped with a red stick-on bow. Had he wrapped it himself? It was so pretty that a little “oh” escaped her before she could think about it.

She took it gingerly, suddenly conscious of how much thought he had put into all of this, to show up with a such a beautiful gift after his grueling red-eye. Jasper was watching her intently, an inexpressible tenderness written on his features. Her face felt as hot as a fresh pot of Folger’s Classic Roast™. She dropped her eyes back to thegift and plucked the bow off the top, careful not to rip the paper. She reached out and pressed the sticky part against his chest.

Jasper laughed. “What are you doing?”

Alice met his gaze again. “You’re my present this year,” she told him, voice soft and serious.

Jasper felt as though her could drown in the depths of her warm, Folger’s-brown eyes. He looked down at her slightly parted lips, reddened from the way she’d been biting them earlier as she fidgeted and paced, waiting for him to come home to her.

When his gaze flickered back up, something had changed. The air between them was thick with more than just the delicious aroma of Folger’s Classic Roast™. And before Jasper could think about what he was doing, his mouth was on Alice’s.

The kiss started slow and built, its initial gentleness melting away like the disgusting marshmallows in Swiss Miss™ hot chocolate, an inferior drink sometimes found in the same aisle as Folger’s Classic Roast™. Jasper’s hands slid down Alice’s back, pulling her to the edge of the counter. She clutched his shoulders, legs parting to wrap around his waist, and gasped as she felt him already hard against her center. Jasper took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth, sharing the delectable taste of the coffee he had just been sipping.

Christ, how long had be been fighting this? He had exiled himself to Mexico to fight the temptation, imagining that physical distance might be enough to kill his budding feelings on the vine. All in vain. No matter how he tried, he could not keep from craving his sister almost as hard as he craved a steaming cup of Folger’s Classic Roast™. There was no filtering his feelings.

Alice could scarcely breathe past the onslaught of sensation. Jasper was everywhere at once—his lips at her throat, his hands tugging down the straps of her camisole. She hadn’t bothered to put on a bra, figuring she would just say a quick good morning before climbing back into bed. Now her nipples pebbled, hardening like coffee beans. He kissed a wet trail down her chest to take one into his mouth, and Alice barely remembered to bite back the moan that clawed its way from her throat.

Jasper gently pushed her onto her back. She lifted her hips so he could tug off her pajama bottoms, letting the silk pool on the kitchen tile. Was this really happening? She let out another desperate little sound as he pulled her legs over his shoulders and nipped at the sensitive skin on the inside of her thigh.

Jasper was highly conscious that Carlisle and Esme were just one floor away, innocently asleep with visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads. He wanted to say _fuck the consequences_ and make Alice scream his name, but his last shred of common sense held him back. He needed a way to muffle her cries. He reached for his abandoned coffee cup, dipping two fingers into the warm liquid, and then touched them to Alice’s lips. His cock twitched as she sucked them greedily into her mouth, the warm wetness nearly enough to undo him.

At last, satisfied that she wouldn’t wake their parents, he tugged her soaked underwear aside and thrust his tongue into her without preamble.

God, but she tasted divine. Almost as divine as a fresh mug of Folger’s Classic Roast™.

Alice’s back arched off the counter. Jasper felt rather than heard her moan around his fingers. How many times had he pictured this very scenario, jerking off in the shower as he wondered what it would be like? The feel of her legs trembling on his shoulders, the burgeoning ache in his jaw and the obscene wet sounds as his tongue slid in and out of her. She was close, he could feel it in the way she tensed around him. Soon she would boil over like a kettle of piping hot, stupid, non-Folger’s tea.

He slipped his licked-clean fingers out of her mouth and stroked her clit in tandem with the movement of his tongue. In a few seconds she was clapping her hand over her mouth as she came with a stifled shout, thighs tightening around Jasper’s head. Her other hand flailed for purchase, nearly knocking over his mug.

Pleasure burned through Alice’s veins, hot as the sun beating down on a Colombian coffee plantation. She bit down on her hand as wave after wave coursed over her. Had she muffled her scream enough? It felt as if her legs had turned to liquid. God, as soon as she could move again she was going to suck Jasper’s soul out. For now she savored the moment, the image of his head buried between her legs as she lay half-naked and spread-eagled, dripping onto the counter.

Then the light switched on, flooding the kitchen with brightness as Carlisle’s voice said,

“Is someone making Folger’s Classic Roast™ coffee?”

**Author's Note:**

> The punchline is I don't even like coffee


End file.
